I Accidentally Ended My Co-Worker’s Marriage, And More Of This Week’s Best Work Drama #adessonews

We’re tackling something we all have to deal with at some time or other: work drama. Each week, I’ll be bringing the juiciest stories from across the web right to our little virtual water cooler.

From toxic bosses to nightmare workplaces, I’m here to speak a little justice on behalf of the average worker. While you’re here, please note that this weekly series is meant solely for entertainment purposes. Please do not have your HR team call me tomorrow saying you heard it from Joel at Digg.

Did Me Speaking Up Screw Up My Co-Worker’s Marriage?

^{[Image credit: Andrea Piacquadio]}

I (45F, happily married) work in a great team. We are all really close and help each other out all the time. We go as a team for lunch once a week. My boss buys coffee and donuts for everyone once in a while. We have a new employee, Tyler. He is in his early 30s, has been married for a few years, and doesn’t have kids. Every time we tried to include him in anything, he politely said he’s not allowed. At first, we assumed he was just being polite and didn’t like to hang out with us (which is fair—not everyone likes social activities). Then, when my boss brought coffee and donuts to a meeting, he said he really craves both, but too bad he’s not allowed. My boss asked if it was due to medical reasons. He said not at all! His wife, Emma, doesn’t allow him to have coffee, but he’s allowed to have herbal tea. She said he can’t have donuts because donuts are “nothing but pure filth.” Everyone stopped talking.

This is the part where I might be the asshole. I asked, “When you said you weren’t allowed to join us for lunch, was it also because your wife won’t allow you?” He said yes. Emma said he couldn’t do any social gatherings without her now that they are married, but they go out together a lot. I told him that if my husband ever tried to control my eating habits or my life like this, I would leave. This is not healthy. My boss agreed with me and suggested resources for talking to a counselor about marriage boundaries. Now today, he told us that he had a big fight with Emma after our meeting, and Emma kicked him out. He said he’s going to see a lawyer regarding the separation and divorce. My husband thinks it wasn’t my place to question his marriage in front of everyone at the meeting. I feel like an asshole, but was I really an ass for pointing out that he was in a toxic relationship?

I’m pretty sure this dude was one wrong look, sneeze or thought away from being kicked out by someone this hostile. It would’ve happened eventually, at least you all seem like you’re going to be there for them. Please extend them friendship and a safe space to vent if they come to you. Read the rest of the thread here.

Am I The Bad Work-A-Holic Girlfriend?

^{[Image credit: Andrew Neel]}

Me (32F) and my boyfriend (37M) have been dating for two and a half years. I would just like to know if how I reacted makes sense.

I work a pretty stressful, demanding job. When I’m at work, I zone in and don’t really think about anything else — to the point that at times, I even forget to pee because of how busy and stressful it is.

Today, I worked a morning shift, 6-4, and I had a meeting scheduled at work at 5:30. I wasn’t sure how long it would last but assumed about an hour. So instead of working 6-4, I worked overtime until 5:30 and then went to the meeting. I had told my boyfriend about the meeting and said I figured I’d be home by 7 p.m. He said he would make dinner.

The meeting ran late and finished at 7. He texted me at 6:45, and I let him know it was running late and apologized via text about five times. I even called when I left to say I was on my way home. He didn’t answer.

I got home around 7:30, and he was cooking in the kitchen and had drunk pretty much a whole bottle of wine. I said dinner looked amazing, and he started going off on me — saying that everything I say is bullshit because I didn’t get home on time. He said he can’t trust what I say, that I’m not honest, that I just do whatever I want, and don’t care about “family.” I said I didn’t know how late the meeting would run and that it’s only half an hour.

At this point, I had worked over 12 hours and was exhausted, and he wouldn’t drop it. He shouted and swore. I said I understood why he was upset, but could he see my point of view? He said he doesn’t give a shit about my job and that it shouldn’t come first.

In the end, because I was over talking and felt disrespected, I opted to leave (I still have my own apartment but have mostly been living with him and have been planning to move in next month). I let him know that if he can’t see how the way he treated me was wrong, we’re done.

Am I unreasonable to hope that after a shitty day at work, I’d be treated nicely and lovingly? I understand I was late, but I apologized.

What Mario world do people like him live in in where they think coins pop-up in the streets? Changing careers is way too big an ask for a compromise like this. He’s either got to realize she’s got to work too, or get a girlfriend who only freelances part-time somewhere. Nothing she could’ve done would’ve prevented his little meltdown, at least know she knows he’s not a real one. Read the rest of the thread here.

Will My Prince Come Stay At Home One Day?

^{[Image credit: Jason Toevs]}

Hi guys, I am a 26-year-old female who is feeling conflicted about my boyfriend (28M) and his job. His job requires him to travel almost every week, and when he’s out of state, he’s only home on weekends. As mentioned in the title, he also travels abroad for work to places very far, such as China/Japan. I obviously really miss him when this happens, and I feel like lately our relationship is suffering because of his work schedule. I understand that his job is important to him and it’s part of his career goals, but it’s hard for me to deal with the constant separation.

I’ve tried to be supportive and understanding, but it’s taking a toll on me emotionally. I’ve talked to him about how I feel and suggested maybe he look into positions that require less travel, but he’s worried about the impact on his career. I don’t want him to feel like I’m asking him to choose between his job and our relationship, but I also don’t know how to handle the loneliness and the strain it’s putting on us.

I’m trying to be patient and supportive, but I’m also struggling with my feelings. So, AITA for feeling this way and bringing it up? If you have any suggestions on how I can balance my needs with being supportive of his career, I would be very grateful. Thanks!

I’m sorry Jasmine, get on that carpet and go follow him, or be chill knowing his job sounds very promising. Most of us can’t even find someone to spot us guac at Chipotle, this guy’s giving future-CEO energy. I’d just sit patient in that tower, Rapunzel, happy days sound like they’ll be here soon enough. Read the rest of the thread here.

Check out the previous edition here.

[Image credit: Pixabay]